One of the fastest ways to release negative emotions is by feeling them without judgment and attachment. This is the core principle of mindfulness.
Why would we want to feel our emotions? Why not just go straight to logical problem-solving? Negative emotions take up space in our minds. We cannot think to our fullest capacity before we process emotions. When we ignore or push emotions away, they’ll always come back until we can properly dissolve them. Feeling is a shortcut to our best thinking.
According to Harvard brain scientist Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor, ninety seconds is all it takes to identify an emotion and allow it to dissipate while you simply notice it.
When we allow negative emotions to fester, the consequences can be harmful. We lose sleep, lash out at people, and make bad decisions. All it takes is 90 seconds to avoid these consequences.
There are many ways to release emotions, like journaling, exercising, meditating, venting, etc. I find the observation technique to be universally effective for regular meditators and those who have no prior experience in mindfulness.
The Observation Technique
Here are the steps to the observation technique. You can also watch a video (3 minutes, skip to 0:58 to the exercise directly) of me guiding you through the steps.
- Get to a private space where you don’t have your electronics to interrupt you.
- Close your eyes
- Take 3 deep breaths
- Do a quick body scan from the top of your head to the bottom of your feet. When you think of an emotion in mind, where do you feel the strongest physical sensation in your body? There may be multiple sensations. Just choose the strongest one and gently observe.
- Describe the emotion silently (in your head) or out loud: Is it hot or cold? Does it have a shape? Does it have a color? Is there a density to it? What else can I notice about it?
- Breathe normally while you observe the emotion with no judgment. You can breathe for 90 seconds or 5 minutes.
You can expect to emerge from this exercise with one or more of the following results:
- Feeling calmer and more relaxed
- Less tension in your body
- Lower and slower tone of voice
- Less stressed
- Clearer mind for logical problem-solving
- Changed perspective for the event that instigated the emotion in the first place
Now that you know this technique, instead of jumping straight to solutions, try to take a few minutes to observe whenever you feel emotional.
About the Author
Sabrina Wang is a CEO coach for extraordinary leaders of Series A to Unicorn companies. She is a founder, CEO, and operator who brings real-life experiences in building products and scaling revenue into her coaching. She is a writer, creative, and trained meditation teacher.
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